Thursday, September 6, 2018

a prayer for the hopeless

I woke up at 4:30am this morning. Perfect timing for the lungs to be most open and therefore grief fully exposed/ processed. My whole body ached and I leapt into a fit of tears, provoked by nothing but the wave of emotions that suddenly appeared over me.  Vibrational and resonate discomfort sunk into my bones. The pains of this world suddenly felt unbearable, all at once. 

Sometimes I feel like a colorful fruit bird looking for a tree to nest and eat from... but all of the trees I see, no matter how far I fly, are on fire or covered in black mold. Dreary, I know. 

Bringing face to the onset of emotions I thought about how I do not like being on Earth as it is being murdered by the ones it feeds. How I couldn't stand to be a human, a part of a species that intentionally kills, rapes, or sells others (even their own babies) for their own gain or for the mere evil of it. 

Sometimes it feels like the world's evil is so much louder than the good. Even the people who I should be closest to because we have similar ways of expressing/ interests only pick my brain and gifts to imitate them and then go to the jobs I worked to get, to try to sell themselves there. Where is the authenticity of Goodness on this Earth? The humane kindness in humanity?

The river outside of my door is normally aqua blue. The water perfectly clear on top of white sand. It brought me so much peace and healing. Soothing like a mother's rocking to fall asleep. I went out on the canoe a few days ago and it looks like people leaked millions of gallons of soda. The water was seeping brown and oil. Dismay. Shock. I actually felt lost and disoriented. 

So I felt, and cried, but now what? That is a hole that can go infinitely deep and I have gone far enough. I get the point. Earth and humans are crying out for health and love! 

If I see it, I can change it. 

So I pray: 
God, the almighty, most high in heaven, in the name/ presence of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, it is commanded to heal and restore the waters, the trees, the life of this beautiful planet. Heal the root causes of it's destruction and uncreate and destroy those ways and habits now! Heal humanity and bring each individual into their loving kindness, their true and authentic nature's in Christ. 

I ask for forgiveness. 
I ask for forgiveness for rape,
For hate, 
For anger-leading actions, 
For selfishness,
For disregard, 
For mistrust, 
For unforgiveness, 
For pain, 
For darkness, 
For evil,
For pollution,
For neglect,
For war,
For greed, 
For gluttony,
For theft,
For lying,
For cheating,
For harming,
For lack of caring,
For lack of taking responsibility,
For dishonor,
For disrespect,
For destruction of your Good.. 

I pray that the well being of Life Force energy, this Earth, and it's natural resources be more valuable than the monetary value and life of a corporation.

Thank you God for your forgiveness. Heal us and let us see the purpose of co-creation and harmony we may choose. Help us to choose You.
And so it is! Thank you God. Amen.

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